People use committees for all kinds of things, from organising the school fete to managing a Body Corp. The purpose, of course, is to combine the strengths and experience of committee members to achieve a better outcome. When it comes to dating, you may not have considered a committee. To be fair, I’m not sure anyone has ever considered it so don’t feel bad.
Why You Need A Dating Committee.
You are just terrible at this.
Ouch. Sorry … but let’s face it – you make bad decisions when it comes to men. The fact that you find yourself back here at your age (and I include myself in this group), just proves it. In my twenties (when I knew everything) I wasn’t open to any input on my choice of partners. Now that I have failed spectacularly, I’m ready to take some advice, even from my mother! (love you, Mum xx)
You have a “type”. And it’s the wrong type!
Do you fall for the bad boy? The bully? The dreamer? Do you long to rescue someone? Whatever your pattern is, you probably can’t see it. When you’re attracted to someone, all those excellent analytical skills that you use in every other area of your life fly out the window with alarming speed. You simply can’t see it. But your committee will. For some more insight into types to avoid you may want to read “Who not to Date”
How Does it Work?
So by now you’re conjuring up images of boardrooms, and a line of nervous, sweaty guys waiting for interviews. That’s not what I mean. I’m proposing that you bring together a group of your closest friends, people you know and trust. You needn’t ever be together in the same room for a formal meeting, but you will be in touch with each one individually and seek input on your dating decisions.
You make a promise to them.
The promise is that you won’t date anyone until you’ve had the approval of the committee. I don’t mean you can’t meet someone for a coffee/drink, etc. But when you’re ready to start a dating relationship, you promise to run it by your committee first.
They will make a promise to you.
The promise is that they will give their honest and unreserved feedback.
Who should you Ask?
You need to ask the people who know you well and love you enough to say what they really think and not just what you want to hear. Remember, they are your safety net. To do their job they have to be able to tell you the truth and you have to be humble enough to hear it.
You might consider having a couple of close friends, both male and female, and perhaps someone from the family (your sister or your mum?). Please don’t invite an ex-boyfriend to be on your committee, because as cute as that might sound he is unlikely to give you unbiased feedback and things can get strangely complicated.
So, think about putting together this group who will support you through your dating journey. But be warned, best NOT to tell your new crush about this committee as he may well feel that he is about to be fed to the lions. This is your thing … just let it be about you…